Isotopes and Irritants
by LosingInTranslation
Summary: Greg gets stuck showing a new CSI around the lab, but discovers it’s not all bad. Written for the Geek Fiction Summer Blockbuster Ficathon.


_**DISCLAIMER: **_Don't own anything associated with the show… I just like playing with the characters in it from time to time. Dance Monkeys! Dance!  
_**RATING: **_Teen/PG  
_**SPOILERS:**_ Season 8  
_**PAIRINGS:**_ Hints of GSR  
_**WORD COUNT:**_ 1545  
_**PROMPT: **_"Yo, Adrian!"  
_**SUMMARY:**_ Greg gets stuck showing a new CSI around the lab, but discovers it's not all bad. Written for the Geek Fiction Summer Blockbuster Ficathon.  
_**A/N:**_ There is a certain aspect of my preferences that always seems to come out in my stories, but I've decided it's not all bad. I'm pretty sure you'll figure out what that predilection is when you're done. Thanks always to my loyal and sorely over-worked betas. They really do deserve a lot of praise, but they'll just have to survive on all the sucking up I do. ;)  
_**REVIEWS: **_Reviews are the way I know if people are enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you found at least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking the time to read.

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The last thing he wanted to be doing right now was showing the new guy around the lab. Nick was off the clock chasing down a lead on Warrick's shooting, and he was stuck taking some fresh faced kid straight off a college campus on a tour of the lab. Giving him the once over, Greg supposed the guy probably still had his mother buying his underwear and putting his name on the waistband.

He was a nice enough kid, but Greg was far too preoccupied with everything else to give him much more than the basic schpiel as they wound through the corridors. The introductions with Henry went well, and it appeared as though the new guy had been doing his homework about the lab and the people in it. He and Henry seemed to hit it off, when he began asking Henry about some new toxicology test that was all the rage in his bio-chem classes at Penn State. That was also when he learned which college campus the kid had walked off of. As they left the tox lab, Henry made sure to give Greg the high-sign showing his approval.

In the print lab Greg got to see the kid flustered and befuddled by the fiendishly wise-cracking Mandy. As they left, he made sure to whisper to the kid, "Look, but don't touch." Nick is a good guy, but he also has a little bit of the green-eyed monster and could easily wipe the floor with the kid's dead carcass if he ever caught him flirting with his girl.

After they got done playing with the new digital voice analyzer in Archie's A/V lab, it was time to head over to DNA. Greg knew that Wendy was getting ready to take her field exam, but he hoped she was still in the lab. She and the new kid would be working together quite a lot in the next few months, and he wanted to make sure they got off on the right foot.

As they walked over to DNA Greg smirked a little to himself as he tried to count the number of times he had referred to the new guy as a kid, and how it was not so long ago that he was that kid. Always the youngest in the lab, and until now the youngest in the field, Greg was really beginning to feel like the perpetual kid at CSI. This truly was a milestone for him, and he decided right then and there that he would enjoy it for all it was worth.

When they entered the DNA lab, Wendy was feverishly skimming through her field manual and failed to notice their arrival. Greg cleared his throat and her head shot straight up. "Jesus, Greg! Don't sneak up on me like that… I thought you were Ecklie, or something."

"Gee, thanks. You really know how to make a guy feel loved." Greg winked at her before he turned to make the formal introductions. "Wendy, I'd like you to meet your fellow field rookie. A.J. Quiñones, this is our new part-time CSI Level Two, Wendy Simms. Or at least, she will be so long as she passes that test tomorrow."

"No pressure, Greg… Thanks a lot." Wendy socked him gently in the arm before extending a welcoming hand to the new guy. "Glad you could join us, A.J. It really is a lot of fun working here, even if it does get a little hectic most of the time."

"And you're guaranteed to only get blown up once or twice every few years." Hodges slithered his way in through the other door without notice. "I see we're busy making the introductions, Greg. You must have missed me earlier."

Hodges moved to insert himself between Wendy and the new guy and Greg was forced to stifle a laugh at the man's efforts. Greg rolled his eyes at Wendy before addressing the trace analyst. "No, actually, I was just hitting the high-points first, Hodges. I didn't want to scare him off when he walked in the door."

"Then I must have been away from my desk when you came by the first time." Hodges quickly tried to dismiss Greg's insult and held out his hand to the new CSI. "David Hodges, trace analysis, and you are?"

To his credit, the kid seemed to pick up on the problem right away and Greg was impressed with his quick witted answer. "A.J. Quiñones, and I'm sorry, but I'm not interested. I prefer men with hairlines on the forehead, and I'm not terribly attracted by that gray thing you've got going on."

Grinding his jaw back and forth as he snatched his hand from the young man's grip, Hodges tried desperately to recover. "A.J., huh? I typically find that anyone going by their initials has a particularly hideous name they are trying to cover up. What's it stand for?"

"If you ask my Puerto Rican grandmother, it's Adriano Jesus Del Madre Calderone Quiñones…" His accent took on a decidedly Spanish flavor as he recited the name. "But my diplomas from Penn State say it's Adrian J. Quiñones, Jr. Everyone calls my father Adrian, so I've just always gone by A.J."

Greg could see it on Hodges' face, the joke was making its way to his lips and he just knew that it was a mistake. But there was nothing in the world that would make him stop the irritating little sycophant from making an ass of himself. "Adrian, huh?" Hodges raised his brow and Greg knew what was coming next, "As in 'Yo, Ad-"

"You know, that's been used almost as much as 'E.T. phone home.' Get back to me when you have something more original. And not like that ridiculous article you wrote about the use of isotopes to pinpoint geographic location." A.J. hit Hodges right where he lived, in his ego.

Greg had no idea what he was talking about, but before he could ask for more information Wendy chimed in. "I thought that was a new technique."

A.J. was fast on the draw, stopping Hodges just as he was pulling in a breath to rebut his claim. "Maybe in forensics…but archaeologists have been using that technique for years. I read an article in high school about this group from the Australian Archaeological Association using isotopic signatures to determine the localities of aboriginal remains. By making an analysis of the stable carbon and nitrogen isotopes, they were able to categorize each set of remains into a specific region of South Australia."

"I attended a lecture that was sponsored by the Smithsonian where Pate discussed the reliability of the analyses when dating bone collagen in all areas of the world, given the availability of proper baseline data." Grissom stood in the doorway flipping nonchalantly through the papers on his clipboard. He paused, looked up pensively for a moment and then said, "2002 or 2003, I can't remember. Must have been the Winter Symposium, which would make it January 2003." Finally noticing the new face in the mix, he dropped the clipboard in front of him and removed his glasses. "Why the lesson in archaeological identification techniques?"

Greg stepped in between Hodges and the new guy to properly guide the situation. "Ah, Grissom, we were, um, just talking about some old articles." Wendy worked to hide her smirk as Greg took control. "Have you met our new guy yet?"

"Not formally, no." There was a glint in Grissom's eyes that Greg recognized, and he knew there was a joke hiding in there. "However, I have heard the name cried out in many a bad Stallone impersonation over the years." Grissom held out a hand to the young man and welcomed him, "Pleasure to have you on board, Adrian. Greg here will show you the ropes, and I look forward to working with you."

"Thank you, sir." A.J. shook the man's hand with a little more excitement than was necessary, but it was obvious he was happy to be there.

"Ah, Wendy, can you give him the five cent tour so I can borrow Greg for a moment?" Grissom never once made eye contact with Hodges as he took over full control.

Wendy smiled and moved to stand next to the new guy as Hodges shrank away from the obvious slight. "Yeah, sure, Grissom." However, Wendy was not as ready to let the slight go unnoticed. As soon as Grissom and Greg were out of the room, she muttered, not quite under her breath, "I guess somebody forgot to polish the teacher's apple today."

When A.J. chuckled, Hodges became indignant, "Watch it, Simms." He turned sharply and marched quickly out of her lab.

As he passed Grissom and Greg in the hallway, Greg shook his head, "How long have you been waiting to nail him on that one?"

Grissom only shrugged and put his glasses on to read from the clipboard once more. After a few deliberate moments he merely said, "Ever since Sara told me he wanted full credit for the article before she had chance to explain to him that the technique worked on archaeological studies all the time." When he looked up through the top of his glasses, that devilish glint was back.

_Dedicated to my good friend Cheryl...because she just loves to phone home._ :D


End file.
